RANT: Guess What I'm Doing This Weekend? Not Playing Deus Ex
Man, I hate to do a thing here but I went out of my way to purchase a mid-to-fair top of the line PC via the Internet for the strict purpose of playing a new Deus Ex game. Fast forward a couple of weeks, and here I am, having explicitly taken a few days off of work for purpose of rest and relaxation. There's a nice shiny new copy of Deus Ex sitting right here on my table, but thanks to the workings of our coglike-yet-frequently-broken universe, the computer has not yet arrived, and the entire plan has come crashing down around me. It's like starting to prepare a fondue only to discover at the crucial moment that not only do you not have any cheese, but also that there has never been such a thing as cheese, nor will there be in time for you to salvage your already-prepared ingredients. They will lay out on the counter and spoil like a wistful violet or lily that a 'tween goth girl brings home and intentionally allows to become wretched and terrible so that she can stare at it and think about how wonderful it would be to have an emotion that doesn't have a drop-down entry prepared on her livejournal account.
But enough about me. I mean, her. What glorious activities await me in the days to come, when I'm not fucking playing Deus Ex on my new fucking computer?
But enough about me. I mean, her. What glorious activities await me in the days to come, when I'm not fucking playing Deus Ex on my new fucking computer?
Option 1: Kill myself. This is a favorite here at the Not Our Day Job offices. As it happens, though, I don't have the energy to write a death poem, not after my tirade about goth chicks and flora up in the initial paragraph. The best I can hope to muster is something along the lines of
Deus Ex, I can't play -
Blood splatters across the wall:
Cut myself shaving.
Hardly worthy of any pretend samurai ancestors I might have. I'd be better off overdosing on a drug that's no longer fashionable, like opium.
Option 2: Hurricane surfing.
As it happens, there's a fairly strong hurricane approaching the coast of Florida, where lowly little NODJ makes its home. With category 3 winds blowing, there's sure to be a decent swell at some of our better surf locations. Unfortunately, I have about as much skill on a surfboard as Samwell Tarly has with a sword and shield. What I'm saying is that I surf like a fat kid. That doesn't make it any less fun, but perhaps a touch wasteful as time goes. This from a guy who spends hours at a time simply staring at a half-finished wine bottle at 2:45 in the morning and contemplating which Gundam show was the best one. (Footnote - 0083 has been and still is the front-runner.) Surfing is rad, and if none of my other options pan out, I may wind up defaulting to failing to stand on surfboard for hours at a time this weekend.
Option 3: Playing Deus Ex on my older computer.
I've tried this and it will run, but no better than F3AR ran, which is not the experience that I was hoping to get out of Human Revolution. Playing Deus Ex: HR on this machine is a bit like expecting Jesus to wander into your town on Palm Sunday, but instead of Jesus, you get Coach McGuirk from Home Movies. Yeah, that's kinda great, but ... not really the savior of the human race, you know what I mean? Even with the Steam cloud ready and waiting to port my save information for me, I think I'm better off waiting for the real experience - whenever that happens.
Truth be told, I'll probably just load up the original and play through that for the 700th time.
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