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TOP 10: Rewarding Kills in Battlefield (2)

With Battlefield 3 just around the corner, my murder-boner is reaching unsustainable levels. I keep passing in and out of consciousness as each new trailer comes out. It's been far, FAR too long since I've been able to engage in 64 player mayhem (sorry MAG, you just didn't cut it) and with BF3's release so tantalizingly close I feel it's time to look back and run down just why Battlefield offers an experience like none other. Today I bring you the top 10 most rewarding kills to pull off in a Battlefield game!

The Rock, Paper, Scissors of our generation.
Since I haven't played BF3 yet we'll use BF2 for the examples.

10. Knife Kill


I know this seems really lame, but that's probably because you guys have been playing COD too much. When you can teleport 15 feet and insta-kill with a heat seeking knife then yes, knifing isn't all that special. However, try pulling a knife and stabbing amidst a hail of artillery, gunfire, rpg's and tank-fire, and you'll soon understand that getting knife kills in BF is a big deal.

9. Road Kills


Nothing fancy here, just good ol fashion rock beats scissors type gameplay. If you can't shoot it doesn't mean you're worthless in BF. Keep your foot on the gas and live like there's no tomorrow!

8. Suicide Jeep


Speaking of no tomorrow! This takes the roadkill one step further as you lace your vehicle of choice with c4 and charge headlong into the fray. You're not coming out alive, but you will be surrounded by virgins as you wait to respawn. We couldn't help screaming "alalalalalalala" at the top of our lungs while doing it. Don't blame us, it's a cultural thing!

7. Defibrillator


Take the embarrassment of being knife killed, now multiply it by 100000000. Premature ejaculation, micro penis, and owning a Justin Bieber CD cannot compare to the infinite shame brought on by being killed by the on-off life switch that is the defibrillator. If it happens to you....KILL YOURSELF.

6. Sniping a Helo Pilot


This one is an amazing rush and can lead to even more joy if the helo spins out of control and kills the gunner. BONUS! For ultimate despair, snipe the pilot, then when the gunner tries to hop into the pilot seat and regain control, KILL HIM TOO.

5. Shooting Down a Jet with a Tank


Jets are the BANE of my BF2 existence. Nothing gets my rocks off like seeing them go down in flames. Taking one out in a tank is a giant FUCK YOU to the player, the Wright Brothers, and the BF2 food chain.

4. Shooting Down a Jet with Anti-Tank Missile


Like the above, but shirtless, oiled up, and erect.

3. Booby Trapping a Vehicle


This little dastardly number doesn't really require much skill. It just rewards patience and a seriously anti social attitude. Plus you NEVER blow a chopper on the pad: let it take off, lull the pilot into a false sense of security, with pre-flight checks a go, and all systems normal the chopper is ready to launch into battle and BOOOOOOOM. Post birth abortion.

2. Steeling Someone's Vehicle and Killing Them with it


This is more of a mind game than anything else. Basically can you play hide and seek with a vehicle long enough for the driver to want to get out and attend to things themselves? This leaves them open, and more importantly the vehicle open for you to take! The dilophosaurus in Jurassic Park employed this EXACT strategy to pwn Dennis Nedry. Thug life mutha-fucker!

1. One Man Army


You can do this in a number of ways, but the jist is just showing your enemy that you are no one trick pony. Drive a tank to a capture point, hop on the .50 cal and make it rain red. Fly a Blackhawk then hop into the minigun to liquidate some pesky infantry, before hopping back into the pilot's seat. Battlefield is about options and varying play styles, and once you can become proficient in all of them, you will be a force to be reckoned with. Except jets. Only pussies use jets.


So there you have it! A great bucket list for when Battlefield 3 releases. Did I miss any of your favorites readers? If so show me on the battlefield, or leave a comment.
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