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TOP 10: Video Game Franchises That Will Live Forever!

I was having a chat with some new interns at work, i.e. people born after the year 1990 and I was appalled that they didn't appreciate some of the classic games I grew up with. Doom, Desert Strike, Eternal Champions, Killer Instinct... these are all monumental achievements in the history of video games that some of them don't even recognize for fucks sake! It disheartens me to know these games are fading into obscurity.

I think my generation runs the entertainment industry now and I blame our obsession with trying to revive and reboot everything and failing, effectively killing the name and destroying all relevance. But the past 10 or so years have brought about some truly great franchises that you know will never die. They will live on and become synonymous with gaming like Spielberg is to movies. Like Hulk Hogan is to wrestling. Like Magic Johnson is to Aids. These are 10 of those franchises.




10. Homefront


Part 2 has been confirmed which comes as no surprise because this franchise had success written all over it when they hired 1980s action movie writer John Millius to scribe the game. He expertly crafted a terrifyingly realistic WW3 scenario where the most dangerous and powerful nation in the world, North Korea, successfully invades and takes over 'Murica. The setting to the game lends itself to a never ending revolutionary war that will surely spawn dozens of sequels and eventually dethrone Call of Duty in the "Most Anticipated Game in History" genre.

09. Rock Band


Harmonix celebrated the release of their 3000th song not too long ago which means only one thing: that plastic guitar is sitting right there on your Ikea KÖffee TÄble and not collecting dust in your mom's closet back in your hometown. And since Viacom just shuttered MTV games and desperately scrambled to sell off Harmonix for tax breaks, making them once again independent, this franchise is without a doubt the greatest free agent since Reggie White. Hurddy Hurrr I know stuff about sports and definitely didn't look that up.

08. Prey


Prey 2 is unquestionably the most anticipated game of 2012 and bound to be the greatest sequel ever considering how much everyone remembers the first one and despite the fact that it looks like it has nothing to do with it. Prey is like the other Half Life, taking 6 to 10 years in between installments because all great works of art take time and are done when they're done. So start investing your money in Human Head Studios stock because it's gonna be worth a fortune in 2020 when Prey 3 is announced.

07. Dark Void


Regardless of lack luster sales and mediocre critical praise, Dark Void was so great Brad Pitt optioned it for a feature length motion picture, potentially starring him instead of Nolan North (Blasphemy!). This is no joke. Check this Variety article. Part 2 will surely be announced at this year's E3 as a tie-in deal. Part 2 of the infinite part series. The first infinilogy.

06. Playstation Home


Playstation Home represents the Utopia all gamers have longed for. A surreal, serene, virtual living space devoid of all life and social interaction. A place where we can all live freely from the insecurities and abuse Call of Duty players place on this world. The possibilities are endless with Playstation 4.

05. Shaun White Games


Shaun White is the poster child of snowboarding (Hurrdy Hurr! two sports references!) and that's why Shaun White's Skateboarding was such a masterpiece. I mean, it was a game where you didn't play as Shaun White or snowboard but instead skated around a dark distopian world, restoring color by doing sweet jumps on magical floating rails with Tony Hawk style controls. It's so... avant-garde! Be prepared for yearly releases of Shaun White games starting with, I predict, Shaun White Bass Fishing. (BTW, yes I know Shaun White is also a skater)

04. Arma


The Arma games know how to establish a reputation in this industry. You do it by appealing to the smallest, most elite demographic of them all. You start by creating a military shooter game for PC's only, with vehicle speedometers and gauges so detailed they require the highest system specs of any game on the market. Then you plague it with bugs to challenge your fans to make mods to fix them. Doing this creates a game everyone will want and few will play. It's the members only strategy that propelled Jurassic Park: Trespasser into the stratosphere and Arma will follow suit.

03. MMA Games


EA Sports MMA was so immensely popular that their servers couldn't handle the online bandwidth and had to shut down after a little over a year. On the flip side, UFC Undisputed sales cut in half with every new installment. If my understanding of calculus and limits is correct, if they continue to cut in half with every new game, they will decrease indefinitely but never actually reach zero. So basically unending sales. Oh and I don't even have to mention Supremacy MMA. Talking about how awesome that franchise is would be so obvious. MMA games 4ever!

02. Goldeneye


Goldeneye shares that rare (no pun intended) distinction with the Punisher movies where every single installment is a complete reboot. Both have 3 iterations and each disavows the existence of it's predecessor. As long as the sun continues to shine, but regardless of whether or not Bond movies are being made, someone, somewhere will try to capitalize off the Goldeneye name and make another version. And each will surpass the previous.

01. Dynasty Warriors

I know, I know. No brainer. Why even bother mentioning this? It's like when you listen to your frat brother's "Greatest Movies of All Time" list and you finish his sentence at #1 with "Scarface! (*Highfive*)". But Dynasty Warriors transcends gaming. The truth is, in the future when Earth takes part in some form of inter-galactic olympics, Dynasty Warriors will be the icon chosen to represent the planet because religious and political differences among nations will prevent anything else. It is the universal constant that represents the indestructible will of humanity!




Happy day after April Fools day. Thanks for making it to the end... I'm sorry.

XOXO,
Abortion Fist


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The Sanchez on :

*In regards to Arma, how did they make a game in that god-awful engine? For the love of God, I just spent 6 months of my life working on it and I can't even begin to describe how awful it is.
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