NOT OUR DAY JOB

I don't know about you, but I've been around this big ol' Internet for a while now. I was around back before fanfiction had been invented. I've seen the rise and fall of mighty 'net empires for years upon years. And I'm the youngest out of the stable of stars here at NODJ! Imagine what these other codgers could tell you!

Me, I've always been big into games. Heck, the first time I wandered into the World Wide Web outside the confines of America Online's preset content was in pursuit of a Final Fantasy 7 fansite of any worth. (Are any of my readers here today Rocket Town denizens from days gone bye? A lot of friendships got started there...) In the many years since that first fateful hyperlink click, gaming has become more and more of a collaborative fandom, not only becoming a bigger and bigger industry, but inspiring more and more acts of daily recreation and entertainment outside the world of our handhelds, our phones, our consoles, and our computers.

What follows is perhaps not the "top" ten best sites dedicated to extracurricular gaming content, but they're certainly some of my favorites.

I typed "gaming tribute sites" into Google Image Search and this is the first result it gave me. JOURNALISM!

Continue reading "TOP 10: Gaming Tribute Sites"

I was having a chat with some new interns at work, i.e. people born after the year 1990 and I was appalled that they didn't appreciate some of the classic games I grew up with. Doom, Desert Strike, Eternal Champions, Killer Instinct... these are all monumental achievements in the history of video games that some of them don't even recognize for fucks sake! It disheartens me to know these games are fading into obscurity.

I think my generation runs the entertainment industry now and I blame our obsession with trying to revive and reboot everything and failing, effectively killing the name and destroying all relevance. But the past 10 or so years have brought about some truly great franchises that you know will never die. They will live on and become synonymous with gaming like Spielberg is to movies. Like Hulk Hogan is to wrestling. Like Magic Johnson is to Aids. These are 10 of those franchises.

Continue reading "TOP 10: Video Game Franchises That Will Live Forever!"

You know how whenever the average person recollects something with fondness, the rosey tinge of nostalgia smears away any rough edges or imperfections? How if one was to recall a past love, like say Die Hard Trilogy for PS1, they would recall an amazingly deep game with jaw dropping visuals and enemies that exploded into human sized showers of blood. Ah the good 'ol days! However, the past is not always as we remember. Rewatch Thunder Cats and try not to tear your ears off, or attempt, if you dare, to sit through an entire episode of Voltron. Feel that warmness in your throat? That's vomit. Sometimes the opposite is true as well though. We can pick up a game from gaming past and get just as much enjoyment out of it now as we did then. In part one of this two part installment we will be looking at some of the games of yesteryear that have aged with grace and dignity, and are still every bit the classic today that we remembered them being.

Best o' time

Continue reading "TOP 10: Test Of Time Games - Best"

I love Battlefield 3. Even with a new daughter and my usual adult responsibilities I have shucked all non-essential entertainment (movies, Console gaming, showering) and focused all my attention on DICE's return to PC glory. That being said, I only have about 80 hours logged and hardly consider myslef an expert. But I do what I can, when I can. It was one night of intense online play, as I charged headlong into a mass of tanks, C4 at the ready, dodging a hail of incoming mortar fire and tracer rounds, that I realized something: "man, this game fucking HATES gay people!"
We here at NODJ will not tolerate that kind of blatant bigotry so here and now I propose to Dice 10 ways to alleviate the hate!

Wow that's a mouthful.

Continue reading "TOP 10: Ways for BF3 to Not Offend Straight Guys Who are Offended by Stuff They Think is Homophobic"

It's January 18, 2012, and before you rush off to Wikipedia to silently confirm for yourself whether or not today is Kevin Costner's birthday (hint: it is, and the Hallmark card store does rush deliveries,) let me remind you that today is the day of the 2012 Internet blackout in protest of the Stop Online Piracy Act, a hotly contested bill before the United States House of Representatives that has the entire Internet in something of an uproar. Opponents of the bill say that it gives the government free rein to censor the Internet without due process, essentially cracking down on free speech and right-of-use to materials on the Internet in the name of copyright protection. Many sites across the Internet, including renowned timesink Wikipedia, have voluntarily shutdown operations for the day, essentially staging a digital protest against the bill.

You'll note, of course, that NODJ is still online. This is not merely due to the fact that our viewership is so low that we somehow consume negative quantities of bandwidth, although we appreciate the monthly check for $4 and change that our hosting service sends to Murdernator's post office box. No, dear reader, our site is still online because we at the Not Our Day Job offices stand firmly in support of SOPA and the changes to the 'net that it heralds. It would be lazy of me to make such an outrageous claim and not provide a reason or two why we've taken such a bold, contraversial stance. Fortunately, I have not only one reason, I have ten, and making them eminently list-worthy.

Continue reading "TOP 10: Reasons to Support SOPA"

Welcome back to part 2 of your old pal Abortion Fist's game awards of 2011. This week we conclude the ceremony by honoring all of the industries travesties this year.

Here's a Kinectimals I WILL play!

Continue reading "TOP 10: Abortion Fist's End of the Year Awards 2011 pt. 2"

Piggy-backing off of Fist's 2011 awards, I will be following suit with a years end wrap up of my own. No argument can be made to the point that 2011 was a banner year for video game fans. If you couldn't find at least THREE games to sink your teeth into this year, you probably forgot that you actually hate video games, and are in fact a human shaped decorative candle, devoid of emotion, reason, and a PSN account. However, just because a game reviews high, or sells well, doesn't mean you have to play it, or even want to play it. In fact, with so many AAA titles released this year, it felt almost refreshing to be able to simply recognize "that's not really my type of game" and pass on a big game, only to have a game more in line with what you enjoy come out the next week! Submitted for your approval (or not) I present my list of 10 games of 2011 that I gladly let slip by.

Ironically not on the list, but rest assured: I Passed on this one.

Continue reading "TOP 10: Games of 2011 I Passed On"

This past weekend hosted Spikes VGAs (aka Spike's 2 hour commercial for pre-rendered trailers) and like every year, I didn't watch it. I generally hate all forms of prestigious award ceremonies like the Oscars and the Grammys, because A.) I rarely agree with the choices for winners and B.) most of it is bullshit meant to boost sales so the box covers can say "Award Winner" on it (even though I don't think that actually boosts sales). The VGA's are following suit and this year made some horrendous decisions, going so far as to nominate games that hadn't even been released yet.

Well you can take a sigh of relief knowing that a truly honest and unbiased awards list has arrived from Uncle Abortion. Sure you probably still won't agree with all the winners but you can rest assured that I'm in no way getting paid for these nominations nor will any game box ever sport the phrase "Game of the Year -Abortion Fist". Although that would be pretty awesome and sales boosty.

Now onward to the winners! Continue reading "TOP 10: Abortion Fist's End of the Year Awards 2011 pt. 1"

Metal Gear! Even just saying the words gets me pumped. A combination of cinematic storytelling, one-of-a-kind characters, and - most importantly - enormously fun, emergent gameplay made the original PSX title one of the landmark games of its generation, and perhaps one of the best games of all time. It spawned a number of sequels, both direct and derivative, based on the strength of its regularly ponderous but nonetheless captivating gameplay and narrative. The plot is regularly over-the-top or simply idiotic, and most gamers who don't know much about the series know it primarily for its enormously long cutscenes. Still others have given the series a shot and can't get past an antiquated, overly rooted-in-"tradition" control scheme that can feel clunky even to tactical infiltration specialists like the crew here at NODJ. Yet still others can't even get past the weird balance of anti-war melodrama and quirky moments and mechanics that the series defines itself with.

Regardless, it's one of my favorites, and as I said in my last update, I firmly believe that a great deal of that has to do with the climactic fights against the series' villains. These special moments show off not only great mechanics at work, but also incredible landmarks in the player's overall experience. They quite often pit the player against a seemingly invincible foe, and force the player to use their skill AND their brain to overcome the challenge. There are very few Metal Gear fights where overwhelming force is a viable option.

Now, I'm in complete fan mode right now, and it would probably be easy for me to just pick a ton of fights in the Metal Gear series and tell you how I great I think that they are. But I like you better than that, dear reader, so in the interest of fairness, I've decided to list what I feel are the top 5 greatest fights in the series, but also call out the top 5 worst ones. I recognize that the franchise has flaws (don't get me started on nanomachines), but I still love it, and I want you to understand why I love it in spite of those flaws.

Continue reading "TOP 10: BEST AND WORST OF METAL GEAR BOSSES"

So, I'm playing Skyrim. It's my first Elder Scrolls title, but I loved the Fallout games and I'm sorta using that as my basis for what's going on around me. I haven't done a whole lot yet, but just wandering the world of Skyrim and seeing what it's made of has been pretty entertaining. The one that the game hasn't yet delivered for me yet is DRAGONS! I fought one, but based on the water-cooler discussions of my peers, I expected eight more dragons to burst out of the abdomen of the dragon I'd slain, each of them equipped with a pair of smaller, less comfortable dragons. I love dragons and I can't wait until the game starts pitting me against more and more of them. Until then, I'd like to share with you some of my fonder memories of dragons in the games leading up to Skyrim's supposed cornucopia of draconic opponents.

Spoilers ahoy!

Continue reading "TOP 10: DRAGONS!"

Well, it's been brewing for years now: women complaining their significant others spend more time with video games than with them. I took this as idle female prattle from a generation of women who wanted Sex and the City meets Happy Days (read completely fictitious) type lifestyles and relationships. I looked on and chuckled as articles came out from various women's magazines wondering "where have all the REAL men gone?". I'm sure every era of man has had its own scapegoat for failed relationships, but since this is my man era lets tackle the subject of video games! Sure I LOVE playing games, and my wife has no problem with it (that I know of), but this is more of a defense for any and all men who have to sneak around their favorite hobby lest the vagina troll cry "ME ME ME!". Need an excuse? Read on.

The choice is yours ladies...

Continue reading "TOP 10: Worst Things Men Could Be Doing Besides Playing Video Games"

This week's top ten isn't so much an opinionated entertainment list as it is a helpful guide for any of you crickets and tumbleweeds out there playing the new Deus Ex. I also created it in a cheap attempt to bait Googlers searching for "Deus Ex Augmentation Guide". SUCKERS! If you're going through Deus Ex Human Revolution for the first time and aren't sure which augmentations to invest those treasured Praxis Points on, I've got the hook up, holla if ya hear me. HAHA remember Master P? What an asshole that guy was.

Continue reading "TOP 10: Deus Ex Human Revolution Upgrades"

With Battlefield 3 just around the corner, my murder-boner is reaching unsustainable levels. I keep passing in and out of consciousness as each new trailer comes out. It's been far, FAR too long since I've been able to engage in 64 player mayhem (sorry MAG, you just didn't cut it) and with BF3's release so tantalizingly close I feel it's time to look back and run down just why Battlefield offers an experience like none other. Today I bring you the top 10 most rewarding kills to pull off in a Battlefield game!

The Rock, Paper, Scissors of our generation.

Continue reading "TOP 10: Rewarding Kills in Battlefield (2)"

Yesterday, it was announced that Australia's Team Bondi, makers of 2011's LA Noire, has been placed into administration, which could very well be the first nail in the coffin for these guys. The travesty of the development period for the gritty detective game has already been widely circulated, as has the industry's backlash against the brutal practices supposedly enacted by the studio in the name of getting the game done, headed by company founder Brendan McNamara. Although LA Noire was a surprisingly entrancing title for me, I'm not surprised at the reports of horrible working conditions, and neither am I stunned by the idea that the company is pretty much on its way out the door. To be honest, 2011 has been pretty tame given the closures of the past few years.

The shake-up down under has gotten me nostalgic for some of the other studios that have departed this mortal coil. I was a little astonished when I started thinking about all the great names that are simply gone in today's world. There's a lot of them, and certainly more than a mere top 10 can cover, but I tried to select my favorites for this week's Friday feature...

Continue reading "TOP 10: Closed Game Studios"

Despite proving that they can out-gross any entertainment medium on 3 different occasions, video games still desperately yearn to prove that they are just as culturally important as movies. Rappers are toting their Playstations in their Escalades and Xbox 360s are transforming into Deceptacons, but for some reason developers and fans alike feel they aren't getting the respect they deserve. I'm guessing it's because your average female doesn't give a shit about them and until people like Gabe Newell can command hookers to dress up like Wonder Woman and show up on tabloids next to the Kardashians, gamers will just never be satisfied.

I love movies and games equally and anyone who doesn't agree, well I say it sucks for them. They're missing out on something. With that being said I know I love them for different reasons. Care to find out what they are? It's perfect troll bait...

Aww sheeyit. Current events, son. See what I did there?

Continue reading "Top 10: Things Games Do and Don't Do Better than Movies"