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GAME REVIEW: Shadows of the Damned (PS3)

I'd like to think of myself as somewhat up to date with the goings on in video game land. I lived my life holding myself in high esteem, and with a sense of unflappable self confidence. That all changed when Shadows of the Damned just sort of came out without me knowing anything about it. Stuff like this isn't supposed to slip under my radar. Apart from a brief and obscure trailer from E3 I had seen nothing on this game. I knew it was those crazy boys over at Grasshopper working on it though and that it had some Japanese heavy hitters associated with it, so as soon as I realized I'd slept on it's release I double timed it to get a copy via GameFly. What I ended up playing was an experience like none other that I've experienced in quite a while.

Johnson and Garcia Hotspur: BFF
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GAME REVIEW: Steam Titles

I love Valve, dear reader. I've had a Steam account ever since the original Half-Life came out, and rarely a night goes by where I don't at least consider playing Team Fortress 2. Many's the occasion that I've woken up suddenly only to find myself still sitting on my chair, the mouse cursor hovering over the "Launch Game" option. What I'm saying is is that I've sent Gabe Newell birthday presents. Usually boxes of chocolate - and by the looks of things, he's been enjoying them (HEYOOOOOOO fat jokes.) At the same time, I'm a big fan of a lot of Electronic Arts' titles, so their focus on their "Origin" digital distribution platform has me dreading the eventual choice to use one service over the other. This is, of course, a ridiculous and unnecessary choice, since it's entirely possible to use both programs - even at the same time, if you've got enough Mega-Hertz! Just the same, it's had me reflecting on what sorts of things that I like on the Steam platform that I would expect to see mirrored (and hopefully improved upon) in Origin.

One of the big pieces of content that I realized I'd never really engaged myself with is the huge variety of low-cost games available on Steam. These titles, usually created by independent developers and distributed by Steam, have always been on the periphery of my PC gaming experience. I knew that they were there - but were any of them actually worth my cash? How do they stack up against the games that I play most regularly - the titles from big-budget software developers? Did they actually contribute positively to the Steam experience overall?

This week, I decided to find out.

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GAME REVIEW: Sniper: Ghost Warrior (PS3)

When it was announced over a year ago Sniper: Ghost Warrior really piqued my interest. I have always wanted to see a robust sniping game become successful (sorry Silent Scope, but you don't count). I tentatively followed the news around the game, but grew more and more concerned as the game seemed to try be everything for everyone. Sniper: Ghost Warrior came out to the 360 and PC in June of 2010, and after reading some reviews I let it pass without buying in. Now more than a year later City Interactive has brought its successful Sniper: Ghost Warrior to the PS3 with new features and alleged improved graphics. Since I just signed up for Gamefly I figured I'd give it its dues. So is it a hit? Read on.

Sneaker: Ghost Stalker
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GAME REVIEW: Thor - God of Thunder (PS3)

Abortion Fist
Back in May I saw the Thor movie in the theater. Last week I got a chance to play through the Thor video game. Not surprisingly, I left both thinking the same thing. I had that eternal paradigm burning through my skull that's been there since the dawn of time...
QuailMan relevance after the jump.
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I'm a pretty big fraidy-cat. I'm not talking about the kinda guy that's spooked out by The Ring or was terrified of Chucky or Jason or Kreuger when he was growing up. I had to run screaming out of the theater in the middle of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. The opening sequence of Batman Returns made me wet my pants - I had to excuse myself and hide in another theater that was showing a rerelease of Pinnochio, which was equally as terrifying. Fuckin' whales, son! They'll eat your dad!

Needless to say, I haven't played a lot of scary games in my time. Dead Space (and 2) are about close as I usually get. I certainly don't wait in line to play any of the Silent Hill titles - or any other Japanese horror games, for that matter. (Murdernator recently remarked, astutely, that American horror is about "Please don't kill me please don't kill me please don't kill me" whereas Japanese horror is more to the tune of "AGH KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME". I didn't jump into the first FEAR game partly for its Ringu-esque antagonist, even though it was acclaimed as a solid title. The existence of FEAR 2 went unnoticed by yours truly. But the trailers for FEAR 3 that debuted at last year's E3 piqued my interest. Not only did it seem to have some solid first-person shooting action, but some atypical "ghost" mechanics and a surprisingly robust fiction. I decided to steel myself against whatever terror F3AR might have to offer up - and perhaps begin the battle against the demons of my childhood.

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GAME REVIEW: Duke Nukem Forever (PS3)

Happy Birthday America! I have a present for you on this fourth of July, the review of what could be considered the most American game of all time: Duke Nukem Forever! Oh yes, if ever there was an all American hero it would have been Duke, circa 1996, and now he's back in a game no one in their right mind actually believed would be released. We've already wasted enough time waiting for this game, let's just get right the fuck to it!

As American as Adjustable Rate Mortgages!
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GAME REVIEW: Android "Games"

We here at NODJ are always on the cutting edge of technology. In fact, by the time you read this, we'll have bled to death from the aforementioned edge. In my continuing mission to outclass everyone on the internet, I proceeded to procure a device many of you will not even be able to comprehend. That's right - I now have in my possession, for the first time, something called a "Smart Phone". Apparently, there are games on this device, so for this Monday review, we're going to mix it up a little and take a look at the top 5 free games on the Android Market.

The Future.
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In writing this review, I felt like I was being perhaps a little too informative at the expense of being less entertaining. Sure, I got my shots in on LA Noire with the drinking game - but aren't laughs what you're really after, dear reader? That's what my mom asks for whenever she calls, anyway. But ultimately, I decided LA Noire had enough interesting elements to chat about to satisfy my craving for more intellectual discourse. Is what you want a more tongue-in-cheek look at the title? I can arrange that. But until I'm told otherwise, I shall proceed as my heart tells me to - with overbearing paranoia and honeyed vitriol. LA Noire, have at thee!

I know I left some gameplay in here somewhere ...
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GAME REVIEW: Marvel Vs Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds (PS3)

Over a decade after it's last predecessor bowed out of the fighting game circuit, Marvel Vs Capcom 3 has come kicking, , rocket punching, and bionic arming back into the spotlight. The hope of this sequel was the stuff of nerd wet dreams, and when Capcom finally announced that they were working on a new game the speculation ran rampant. The best part about wishing for MVC3 is that in your mind it's perfect and you know just what to do to make it amazing. However, when the game becomes a reality it leads to some ridiculously high expectations that are near impossible to be realized. So can MVC3 offer sweet release for fighting game fanatics after a 10 year case of blue balls?

The gangs all here, kind of, well maybe not.

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GAME REVIEW: Portal 2 (PC)

The original Portal was one of the biggest, most delightful surprises in video gaming - a simple, student-created project eventually turned into the quiet fifth party member in the sentai squad that comprised The Orange Box - Valve's ingenious 2007 video game compilation release. Portal introduced us into the world of Aperture Science and its demented computer overlord, GLaDOS, who ran you through a gamut of puzzles requiring the use of the Dual Portal Device, which you eventually used to escape certain death, break free, and bring an end to GLaDOS's seemingly unstoppable testing rampage. Portal was a short but satisfying affair, and as the credits rolled, the world was left to wonder - what now?

It's been a couple of years, but we finally have our answer, and it's hard to think that any human alive could be truly dissatisfied with it.

Not since HK-47 has being hated by a soulless murdering robot been so charming.

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